Before COVID, I went on a cruise that appealed mainly to adults over 50. Based on observation, I’d venture a guess that at least half the passengers were over 60, and if you don’t think that makes a difference, you’re either young or need new corrective lenses.
What I noticed about the women was interesting in many ways. This self-selected group of older adults with money for a cruise included some who were able and willing to dress in a way that flatters whatever kind of body they had—but it also included quite a few of the ones who have given up and tuck their printed knit tops into their elastic-waist pants.
But both groups often sported the worst bras you can imagine. It seemed especially likely if they were overweight by as little as one dress size.
There is no reason for a woman who can pay for a stateroom with a balcony for a seven-day cruise to make do with a bra from Penney’s or Kohl’s that feels okay and supports her in a fashion that is decidedly not okay. Whether your small breasts have become droopy or you’re large and sagging, the mass of your breast should be lifted away from the body, not folded over on it, and aligned somewhere near the vertical middle of your rib cage. But on this cruise, it seemed breasts nearing the waist was the norm.
I’ve always been somewhat busty and once I got kind of fat, finding a bra that actually fit seemed impossible. Only in recent years have I determined that not only can a woman whose lingerie drawers include 42DDDs (several styles of Wacoal, the best I could do at the time) can indeed find bras that actually fit and support, but bras that are fully comfortable.
You just can’t do it at a the local department store, including when they have a “fitting event.” The fitter they’ve hired for a few days can’t fit you in the bras department stores carry.
Get thee to a dedicated lingerie store with a trained fitter. In another city if that’s what it takes.
Yes, if you’re large, that bra is going to have an underwire. It does not add any discomfort at all. If it does feel uncomfortable, that means the bra does not fit. Don’t let any sales person tell you differently.
Yes, even if you’re obese there are bras that will hold up the goods more than adequately, without making massive dents in your shoulders because the straps are holding most of the weight.
Yes, there’s a bra out there—more likely, several bras—that will touch your sternum like they did when you were fourteen and wore a B cup. No more dropping fish crackers and finding a small school of them when you get ready for bed, as I have. Seriously, I once found three grapes in that gap. Three!
Yes, there’s a bra for you whose straps stay up. All the time, no matter how you twist and turn. Yet they don’t dig into your shoulders. Miracles can happen, ladies.
Yes, there are bras for chubby and big women, pretty ones in prints and in great colors, with lace and bows, matching panties available—and no, they don’t have four hooks up the back, much less six like the last bra I bought at Macy’s, using a professional fitter who probably did the best she could with their stock.
Yes, you’ll pay plenty for a good bra, from at least $50 to a typical $75, and it’s possible to spend lots more. If you hand-wash and line-dry it, you’ll get years of wear. I machine-wash mine in a lingerie bag, because I’m a special kind of lazy, and I still get at least two or three years from a good bra.
Yes, a quality bra takes engineering of a particular type, but there are many manufacturers who’ve got it down and want to sell you a bra that looks great on you, feels fine, and makes you look great.
What, there’s no quality lingerie store where you live? That’s increasingly common. The internet is at your service. Look for websites selling Elomi (my go-to brand), Fantasie, Freya, Goddess, and more. Seek one with free returns if you do an exchange for another size, or just consider that part of the cost of getting a terrific bra. Seek sites with a human able to chat live-time about fit, increasing the odds of getting the right fit first try.
A properly-fitting Elomi bra with side support (the Cate is one of many I like) literally lifts your breasts four inches higher than anything Kohl’s, Penney’s, Dillard’s, or Macy’s sells, and is more comfortable.
I swear, it’s worth it.
