In the last few years, I've traveled
more than in all the preceding years combined. As promised, travel
has been eye-opening in ways I had not expected. Here are some of my
observations.
Everywhere you go, if you smile at
someone the chances are very good they'll smile back. This seems
especially true of women smiling at women or their children. Yeah, I
know you're supposed to avoid eye contact in big cities, as a way of
giving one another privacy and avoiding the crazies, but sometimes I
smile anyway. Sue me.
Just like in the movie "10,"
people in The Bahamas really will cornrow and bead the hair of white
women, and cheap. But they don't really want patrons with hair well
past the waist. Not that it would have looked good anyway.
The soldiers patrolling the area around
the Eiffel Tower with automatic weapons and grim expressions look
about seventeen years old.
The poor in other countries make the
American poor look well-to-do. Many live in shacks they built out of
whatever was at hand, without running water or electricity or even a
locking door. No need; there's nothing inside but sleeping mats made
of old newspapers.
American tourists who are polite, wait
their turn, don't talk too loud, and don't delay or get in the way of
others with their picture taking are not disliked anywhere I've been.
People who are rude, don't wait their turn, are loud, and
inconvenience others are disliked whether they're Americans or not.
Young men wearing suits for work have a
certain panache--if the suit is cut well and fits. A good suit can
elevate an ordinary looking guy with a not-great body into something
special. Suit up, guys!
People in England, both the locals and
tourists from all over the world, all wear American brands of
athletic shoes. It's quite unusual to see a brand that's not
familiar.
The movie stereotypes about surfers are
true. Their deeply tanned skins look more like hides when they're
only in their 30s, and the way they talk sounds silly to an
outsider's ear--which is probably the intent. Amazingly graceful,
though, and some determination and grit is required for minimal
proficiency.
A man in Bermuda does not look foolish
in a suit with shorts and high socks. He looks adorable. Especially
if he's over forty.
A thirty-something woman whose cell
phone features a pink cover with rhinestones is going to keep talking
loudly in a quiet public place despite the looks everyone is giving
her. Corollary: During her conversation she will say things that
reveal she's stupid poorly educated.
You can't go wrong with visiting a
museum wherever you travel. Major cities have world-class
collections, the original items pictured in history and art books.
Even the small, quirky museums can be quite wonderful if you let
them.
It rains nearly everywhere, yet an
astonishing number of tourists apparently do not pack rain gear or an
umbrella. The mark-up on umbrellas in tourist destinations when it's
pouring is worse than on wine in restaurants.
Teenagers and young adults from all
over the world really do walk around with their cell phones in front
of their faces rather than noting their amazing surroundings, whether
a vibrant city or a volcano.
Tom Wolfe's "social x-ray"
women in New York City are the real deal. As a group, Manhattan has
the thinnest women I've ever seen--and many clothing stores there
don't even carry anything over a size 10 or 12. How dare a
healthy-weight size 16 enter their shop? She really ought to try
anorexia.
In Hawaii, the native culture is far
more accepting of trans individuals than any other I've observed. I
saw quite a few and the only shocked people were the tourists.
Black leggings are made for women of
every shape and size, but they certainly don't flatter women of every
shape and size. Yet they are the urban uniform in sophisticated
cities.
In the UK, there are a whole lot of
blond and redheaded people with many of the less desirable traits,
like multitudes of freckles, invisible eyebrows and lashes, and very
pink faces.
If you personalize your transactions
with people whose job it is to ring up your purchase, serve you food
or drink, clean up after you, transport you, etc. whether it's a
restaurant, a store, a cruise ship, a bar, a taxi, or a tour, you
will get better service and usually a smile. Everybody likes to be
recognized as a person. Duh.
Any restaurant at which all the visible
male employees wear their hair in a man bun will be overpriced for
what you get. Hip doesn't taste all that good.
In London, during theatre intermission
they bring individual ice cream cartons into the theatre for sale to
patrons. They stand at the front of each aisle, near the stage, and
block no one. It's overpriced and usually sells out. Pay attention,
Broadway!
It's hard to think of a place you
cannot go wearing jeans and a T-shirt. It's easy to think of places
you shouldn't go dressed like that--cathedrals, weddings,
funerals, live theatre--but nobody will stop you at the door. When
you travel outside the US, being inappropriately underdressed gives
people the wrong idea, not just about you but all Americans.
There's a definite Hugh Grant type in
London, men over forty with good suits and tousled hair.
Blue and bright navy suits for men are
okay with tan or golden brown shoes rather than the black that was
once the only acceptable color. I'm not sure when this happened, but
it did, in big cities at least.
Even if you're all speaking the same
language, you can't necessarily understand everybody. Accents of real
people are a lot more pronounced than accents on TV or in movies.
People in large cities tend to dress
far more warmly than the temperature demands. You see wool coats,
bulky knit scarves, and high boots, sometimes hats and gloves, when
it's in the upper 50s and low 60s. My guess is they're prepared to be
outdoors, walking or waiting for public transportation, way longer
than people who drive to their destinations--but it still looks odd
to me, out there in a thin sweater and perfectly comfortable.
The UK has a lot of people with cheeks
so rosy they look like they've been slapped.
When a woman smiles at a woman of
cover, she smiles back. You can see her eyes creasing at the corners
if her cover leaves nothing else exposed. I make a point of smiling
at them.
I never see a nun in habit in the US,
but they're elsewhere.
Restaurants that have crystal, linen
tablecloths, and some female servers tend to be better than their
all-male counterparts. And I've never had a female server who seemed
snooty and superior, which is not the case with their male
counterparts.
I have enough T-shirts to last a
lifetime. Why don't shops in tourist areas carry something unique to
the area that's pretty or useful, in as wide a variety as the
T-shirts? No matter where I visit, the tourist shops are 85%
T-shirts, and many are not area-specific. ("Ask Your Doctor if
BEER is Right for You!") Sell me books about or set in the area.
Sell me maps pretty enough to frame. Sell me DVDs of movies with area
connections. Sell me prints or comic books by local artists. Sell me
the work of local artisans.
The portion sizes in restaurants
outside the US are substantially smaller, and they don't
automatically bring bread to the table. They tend to have no
reduced-sugar or low-fat options (although they can accommodate
gluten-free and vegan diners), and you leave feeling sated on far
less food.
Hawaiians accept that fat people can be
attractive far more than other Americans do. Many of the native
people there are thirty or more pounds heavier than is healthy, yet
they exude confidence in their appearance.
European restaurants don't offer much
that's low-fat or reduced sugar, although they have selections for
vegetarians, vegans, and those who don't eat gluten. Although the
portions are smaller, with sufficient fat and sugar, you get
enough--and I suspect it's fewer calories than the American way.
I don't like to stereotype, but I
shall. In London, Paris, and New York, many men from the Middle East
demand the center of a sidewalk, the path through a busy restaurant,
or doorway, expecting women to cede their own space to allow them to
pass. (They make way for other men.) This pisses me off, and I
sometimes refuse to give way, allowing shoulder collisions, then
glaring at them with my nice western blue eyes.
Housekeepers in hotels work hard for
lousy wages. If you tip them daily, most will do what they can to
please you--leaving you more coffee of the kind you used, extra
towels, spare travel soaps or lotions, like that. If you can afford
an urban hotel room, you can afford to tip.
When seasoned travelers tell you
everyone in Paris speaks some English and you'll be fine without
French, they're mistaken. Many people working in businesses whose
patrons are nearly all tourists (museums, hotels, nearby restaurants,
etc.) speak no English at all. We were often surprised by what we'd
ordered at dinner.
Shoes you can walk in matter more than
shoes that look good. Girls and women would serve their traveling
selves well to own a pair of attractive, comfortable flats other than
athletic shoes.
