Brimstone Bread

 

 

 

This is a slight modification of recipes widely available online. I did not create the recipe.

BRIMSTONE BREAD
Takes 5-6 Hours

For the Red Bread

2 1/4 cups warm water (105-115° F/40-46° C)
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
2 one-ounce bottles of red food coloring
2 tablespoons vegetable or canola oil
5 cups flour, ideally bread flour
1 tablespoon salt
Optional: another one-ounce bottle of red food coloring
Recommended: disposable food preparation gloves, metal utensils, parchment paper

Pour warm water into a large bowl. Add yeast and sugar. Mix thoroughly and set aside for five to ten minutes, until the mixture creates bubbles that form a layer of foam.

Take care opening and pouring food coloring, which stains, into the foam mixture. Add oil and stir to evenly distribute food coloring. Add flour and salt gradually, stirring to mix. You should have a red or deep red dough. If it’s lighter, work more food coloring into the mixture.

When it’s fully blended, the dough should come together in a single clump. It should be somewhat stretchy and not very sticky. Either in the bowl or on a protected work surface (a clean cookie sheet will keep counters from staining) lightly dusted with flour, put on your food preparation gloves then knead the dough for three minutes until it is smooth and uniformly soft.

Shape the dough into a ball. Lightly flour the inside of your bowl (no need to wash it in between) and put the dough in the bowl. Cover with a dish towel (which can stain if it touches the dough) and let the dough rest for ten minutes.

After the ten minutes has passed, turn the dough out and knead for another two to three minutes, then form a ball, return to bowl, cover it, and let it rest for ten minutes. Do this a total of five times.

When the dough has rested for the fifth and final ten minutes, divide it into twelve balls the same size. Cover two cookie sheets with parchment paper. Put the balls on the cookie sheets, where the dough will rise, separating them as far as possible.

If you have a warm spot in the kitchen, allow the dough to rise there. If you do not have a warm spot, turn on your oven and put your hand inside it. When you detect heat, turn the oven off and put the cookie sheets in the oven to allow the dough to rise there.

Caution: If the rising dough balls join with others, separating them will release the trapped air bubbles causing the rising. You’ll need to start over with the rising. Covering the dough with plastic wrap (a common bread-baking practice) can result in the two sticking, and releasing it also undoes the rising.

Leave the dough undisturbed for three to four hours. It will approximately double in size.

Wash your bowl and utensils for reuse. Near the end of the rising, prepare the topping.

For the Brimstone Topping

1 cup warm water (105-115° F/40-46° C)
2 tablespoons active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
1 one-ounce bottle of black food coloring
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups rice flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
Optional: additional red food coloring

Pour warm water into a large bowl. Add yeast and sugar. Mix thoroughly and set aside for five to ten minutes, until the mixture creates bubbles that form a layer of foam.

Take care opening and pouring food coloring, which stains, into the foam mixture. Add oil and stir to evenly distribute food coloring. It should be intensely black. At this point you can add more red food coloring to darken the mixture.

Add rice flour and salt gradually, stirring to mix. You should have a fully black dough which is somewhat gritty, fairly sticky, thick while being liquid enough to ooze from your spoon. Cover with a dish towel (which can stain if it touches the dough) and let the dough rest for fifteen minutes.

Put on your food preparation gloves and take a handful of the black topping. Smear and pat it over the top and sides of your risen red dough balls. Repeat until they’re all covered. Use all of the black topping, adding more to ensure the coating is not thin on any of them.

Pre-heat the oven to 450° F/230° C.

Let the coated dough balls stand, uncovered, for fifteen minutes to allow the topping to fully stick to the red dough.

After the fifteen minutes, bake your Brimstone Bread on the center rack of the oven for 15 to 20minutes. If it won’t hold two cookie sheets, bake one, then the other.

Because rice flour is not as elastic as bread flour, the black topping will become crisp and will crack as the bread bakes.

Cool on cookie sheets until you can easily touch the bread. Finish cooling on wire racks, or eat warm. These make excellent sandwich or hamburger buns and are tasty warm with butter.

An Uplifting Message

Before COVID, I went on a cruise that appealed mainly to adults over 50. Based on observation, I’d venture a guess that at least half the passengers were over 60, and if you don’t think that makes a difference, you’re either young or need new corrective lenses.

What I noticed about the women was interesting in many ways. This self-selected group of older adults with money for a cruise included some who were able and willing to dress in a way that flatters whatever kind of body they had—but it also included quite a few of the ones who have given up and tuck their printed knit tops into their elastic-waist pants.

But both groups often sported the worst bras you can imagine. It seemed especially likely if they were overweight by as little as one dress size.

There is no reason for a woman who can pay for a stateroom with a balcony for a seven-day cruise to make do with a bra from Penney’s or Kohl’s that feels okay and supports her in a fashion that is decidedly not okay. Whether your small breasts have become droopy or you’re large and sagging, the mass of your breast should be lifted away from the body, not folded over on it, and aligned somewhere near the vertical middle of your rib cage. But on this cruise, it seemed breasts nearing the waist was the norm.

I’ve always been somewhat busty and once I got kind of fat, finding a bra that actually fit seemed impossible. Only in recent years have I determined that not only can a woman whose lingerie drawers include 42DDDs (several styles of Wacoal, the best I could do at the time) can indeed find bras that actually fit and support, but bras that are fully comfortable.

You just can’t do it at a the local department store, including when they have a “fitting event.” The fitter they’ve hired for a few days can’t fit you in the bras department stores carry.

Get thee to a dedicated lingerie store with a trained fitter. In another city if that’s what it takes.

Yes, if you’re large, that bra is going to have an underwire. It does not add any discomfort at all. If it does feel uncomfortable, that means the bra does not fit. Don’t let any sales person tell you differently.

Yes, even if you’re obese there are bras that will hold up the goods more than adequately, without making massive dents in your shoulders because the straps are holding most of the weight.

Yes, there’s a bra out there—more likely, several bras—that will touch your sternum like they did when you were fourteen and wore a B cup. No more dropping fish crackers and finding a small school of them when you get ready for bed, as I have. Seriously, I once found three grapes in that gap. Three!

Yes, there’s a bra for you whose straps stay up. All the time, no matter how you twist and turn. Yet they don’t dig into your shoulders. Miracles can happen, ladies.

Yes, there are bras for chubby and big women, pretty ones in prints and in great colors, with lace and bows, matching panties available—and no, they don’t have four hooks up the back, much less six like the last bra I bought at Macy’s, using a professional fitter who probably did the best she could with their stock.

Yes, you’ll pay plenty for a good bra, from at least $50 to a typical $75, and it’s possible to spend lots more. If you hand-wash and line-dry it, you’ll get years of wear. I machine-wash mine in a lingerie bag, because I’m a special kind of lazy, and I still get at least two or three years from a good bra.

Yes, a quality bra takes engineering of a particular type, but there are many manufacturers who’ve got it down and want to sell you a bra that looks great on you, feels fine, and makes you look great.

What, there’s no quality lingerie store where you live? That’s increasingly common. The internet is at your service. Look for websites selling Elomi (my go-to brand), Fantasie, Freya, Goddess, and more. Seek one with free returns if you do an exchange for another size, or just consider that part of the cost of getting a terrific bra. Seek sites with a human able to chat live-time about fit, increasing the odds of getting the right fit first try.

A properly-fitting Elomi bra with side support (the Cate is one of many I like) literally lifts your breasts four inches higher than anything Kohl’s, Penney’s, Dillard’s, or Macy’s sells, and is more comfortable.

I swear, it’s worth it.

Baked Caramel Corn

 

Since this is not a cooking blog monetized by how much text I make a reader scroll through to get to the damned recipe, I'll just announce that this is an excellent recipe, written simply enough for middle-school cooks and I-don't-really-cook adults to succeed. Enjoy.


MARYN'S BAKED CARAMEL CORN

5 quarts popped popcorn*
1 c. whole almonds or pecans, unsalted, optional   
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine   
2 cups firmly packed brown sugar   
1/2 cup light or dark corn syrup   
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla

Yield: About 5-7 quarts caramel corn, Prep time: 90 minutes or so

Note: Requires very large bowl or pot for mixing. Can NOT be mixed in one bowl/pot used twice.

Pop the popcorn. Spray 2 or 3 large cookie sheets heavily with a nonstick spray product (even if you cover with foil or a silicon mat, spray the foil or mat) and spray a large container in which you will stir the popcorn (and nuts). Preheat the oven to 250 degrees (low heat). Mix the popcorn (and nuts) in your large container.

In a 2.5- or 3-quart saucepan, melt butter over low heat. Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup and salt. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. (This takes 7-20 minutes depending on the pan used and on the stove itself.) Boil without stirring 5 minutes. (This takes 5 minutes, silly.) Remove from heat; stir in soda and vanilla. The mixture will swell up and bubble considerably,which is why you need the large pot. Stir until this reaction seems to have stopped, about a minute.

Pour caramel mixture over popped corn (and nuts), mixing as well as you can. It will be impossible to coat every kernel. Work somewhat quickly, because once it starts to cool, the caramel won’t spread well or leave the pan voluntarily. It helps if you do this over a clean counter so any popcorn bits that are pushed out of the pan or bowl can be returned—but be careful, the caramel is hot enough to burn fingertips.

Turn onto the baking pans, flattening and separating clumps as much as you can. Bake at 250 degrees for 10 minutes five times.

Huh? Remove both sheets from the oven after ten minutes of oven time. Stir and rearrange caramel coating, which will be semi-liquid, to cover as much popcorn as you can, then return to the oven for the next 10 minutes of baking, for a total of five sessions of 10-minutes-of-baking. (This takes more than an hour, usually.) Alternate which of the two cookie sheets is on top and rotate them end-for-end for more even cooking.

Note: Do not block airflow in the oven by filling it side-to-side with cookie sheets. (This will make the sugar burn, and the whole batch taste of char.) If you can't fit two in without blocking it, do them one at a time until one tray is finished, then start on the second tray. It's okay if it stands and its caramel hardens before you begin.

Remove finished caramel corn from oven and cool completely on wire racks over waxed paper or foil (to catch what falls through). Break apart. Store in tins. Ha, as if it wouldn’t all be eaten immediately. In reality: Pick warm caramel corn off the foil with fingers. If you have metal fillings, check carefully for clinging shreds of foil and remove before eating.

* Measure how much popped popcorn you have using the 2.5 or 3 quart saucepan you’ll make the caramel in. Estimating it is fine. Less popcorn equals more kernels fully coated. We generally pop a cup of kernels, measure what we need using the saucepan, and much on the remaining cup and a half or so.

Or go with approximate values:
1/2 c. kernels = 12 c. popped, or 2 Tbsp. kernels = 1 quart popped

On Vertigo

 Because of the vertigo I had earlier, we re-watched Hitchcock's Vertigo last night. Of the entire cast, only Kim Novak is still alive.

I wish I could say it held up, but it did not. The sexism was really bad, for one thing. The age gap--James Stewart was 49, Kim Novak 24--bothered me and apparently wasn't well received in the 1950s, either. She's stunning, but what does she see in him? He's not rich, powerful, handsome, fun, or especially sweet. Zero chemistry on screen. At least the husband she's cheating on, also older, is filthy rich.

Whatever does Barbara Bel Geddes, the unrequited love interest, see in him? And puh-lease, don't tell me they went to college together when he looks his actual age and so does she, fourteen years younger. Stewart is a lean, lined almost-fifty and she's a girlish thirty-five.

The older man's assumption that a woman should be willing to change her appearance completely because he wants her to? Hell, no. When he tells her to bleach her hair platinum blonde and change the style, she doesn't want to and his reply is, "Judy, please it can't matter to you..." Dude, it's her head. How about you shave your head. It can't matter to you.

And since she was paid to turn herself into the same person in the past to commit fraud, why the hell does she forget how to move, act, and be more like the person she's imitating on his command--a role she played previously to perfection?

There's much more not to like. Two people swearing love when they haven't had an actual conversation? Nope.

His taking a half-drowned semiconscious woman to his apartment, where he strips her naked and puts her to bed, instead of to a hospital... Ugh. Creepster, especially when you add the age difference. It's not TLC, it's predatory.

And--spoilers okay on a movie from 1958?--why the hell didn't the nuns lock the tower door after the first death from a fall? And why would Judy be so scared of a nun's arrival that she backed away and "died again"?

And finally, Acrophobia would not be as good a movie title, even though that's what Stewart's character has.

Foam Alone

When we were new to this house, I got my first-ever new chair that was just for me. The plan was I'd use it in my sewing room/study. Which I did, for a while. It looked good with the carpet color, which we would not be changing. It fit my body and supported my back. It rocked. It rotated. It was magical!

But we needed more seating where the TV is, and my chair was appropriated. It even looks good in there. I had to make a solid case for getting it back, and I did.

We ordered a leather chair for the family room in June and were quite surprised to learn it would not be ready until March, nine months ahead. We joked about them having to first impregnate a cow, wait for her to calf, let the calf grow chair-sized...

My mom-mobile has long had a little body damage and Mr. Maryn thought it might be time to trade it in, since every time he sees it he gets mad at himself all over again. (Super tight parking garage in Toronto, steel meets concrete column.) Did I like the car enough to get one just like it? 

Well, you can't. There are no new models of this car within hundreds of miles. How about a road trip to where we used to live? Check it out--none there, either. WTF?

The foam shortage is what. It's a big deal to the furniture, mattress, and auto industry. The makers of the chemicals saw a huge reduction in demand at the start of COVID, laid off workers, reduced production to some low percentage, and hoped to hang on.

Little did they consider that being home for long periods of time made people want new furniture and mattresses. Or that working from home and/or home schooling demanded more spacious quarters that needed new everything because the old furniture just didn't work.

Less safety in air travel meant the demand for cars was up, too--cars with upholstered seats. So the foam industry came back hard, trying to make up for lost time, which caused them to make a grave error. Some workers had moved on, and training takes time, so production had not reached pre-pandemic levels.

Usually when hurricanes or other "weather events" are predicted, virtually all heavy industry shuts down well in advance, battens their hatches, sends workers home while it's still safe, and waits it out. Only the chemical companies had such high demand, and the Texas blizzard gave so little warning, that all five plants in the US were running when they lost power. All of them!

Improper shut-down damages equipment. Apparently it's freakishly good luck no person was injured or killed as machinery abruptly stopped. They lost supplies to ice and cold. Lines froze. Some burst.

It's a testament to plant engineers that they recovered as quickly as they did, the industry says. It wasn't all that quick, and orders for foam chemicals backed up even more.

My chair might come in May. Might.

Black Wines Matter

What's a properly self-isolating woman to do to support the Black Lives Matter movement? She can use her computer and her wallet, of course, but she can also put her money where her mouth is by purchasing wine from Black-owned wineries.

Sources: Newsweek June 6, 2020; Wine Enthusiast June 8, 2020; Rose Mansion June 4, 2020

Abbey Creek Wine
Alexis George Wines
Amour Genéve
Aslina Wines
Bodkin Wines
Brown Estate
Charles Wine Company
Charles Woodson Intercept
Corner 103
Darjean Jones Wines
Davidson Wine Co.
Domaine Curry Wine
Domaine Curry:
Dwade Cellars
Earl Stevens Selections
ENAT Winery
Esrever Wines
Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery
FLO Wine 360
Fog Crest Vineyard
Free Range Flower Winery
Frichette Winery
Indigené Cellars
J. Moss Wines
Jenny Dawn Cellars
L' Objet Wines
L’ Objet Noir
L’Tonya Renee Red Blend
La Fête du Rosé
Le Loup Gris
Longevity Wines
Love Cork Screw
Lovelee Wine
LVE Wines
Maison Noir Wines
Markell-Bani Wines
McBride Sisters
Michael Rose Cellars
MYX Fusions
Okapi Wines
Ole’ Orleans Wines
P. Harrell Wines
Sapiens
Shoe Crazy Wine
Simply Love Wines
Sip & Share Wines
Sosabe Wines
Stoney Wines
Stover Oaks Vineyard & Winery
Stuyvesant Champagne
Stuyvesant Champagne
Taste Collection Cellars
Theopolis Vineyards
Tympany Vineyards
Vina Sympatica
Virgo Cellars
Vision Cellars
Wachira Wines
Wade Cellars
Wandering Wines
Wifey Brands
Zafa Wines

Going It Alone: Self Isolation Tips

The Introvert’s Guide to Happy Self-Isolation

I’ve joked online for years that I live like a hermit by choice, but it’s no laughing matter for the extroverts chafing under self-isolation, craving the social contacts they cannot safely enjoy. So here are some tips from a grizzled stay-at-home-all-day-every-day veteran.

TIME MANAGEMENT

Set an Alarm. Get up about the same time every day. You can get more sleep than usual, sleep until a later hour, but get up. Likewise, go to bed about the same time every night. Sufficient sleep is a luxury for lots of working people, but it’ll do you good, both physically and psychologically.

Schedule Activities. Have blocks of time set aside for certain activities each day. Why? Because it’s too easy to refresh social media, check your phone yet again, and otherwise spin your wheels, accomplishing nothing and not enjoying yourself, either. (Which would count as accomplishing something.) Mix up things you do for pleasure and things you do because they need to get done.

Block out Reading Time. Even if you’re not a reader, a well chosen book will transport you from the present world and its problems to someplace else. You do not need to read something challenging, although this is a fine time to do that if you feel like it. Reading strictly for pleasure and entertainment is the goal.

Schedule Food, Too. It’s easy for someone unaccustomed to being home all the time to eat all the time, and stress eating is real. So eat your usual meals, slate yourself some regular snack times, but don’t sit down to any activity and stop every half hour to eat something. When this is all over, you don’t want to emerge with a weight gain.

Pre-Arrange Time with Friends or Family. Maybe you meet for cocktails with your parents via Skype thirty minutes before you need to start dinner, or FaceTime over coffee with a friend mid-morning. “Seeing” someone every day for conversation has the power to normalize the way you’re living. You can pre-arrange to see someone daily, rotating among friends and family members. (Please help low-tech people if you can.)

Differentiate Weekdays from Weekends. It helps to have some semblance of the normal rhythms of ordinary life. Put different things on your weekend schedule than the weekday. Maybe dinner Friday night is take-out, or something a little fancy served with wine. Maybe it’s movies in the evening instead of series TV. Maybe you do something religious or spiritual. Maybe you make a pizza Saturday night. Whatever makes the feel of a weekend different is good.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Dress Yourself. Uncertainty, depression, isolation—what’s the point of getting dressed when pajamas are so very comfortable? And who’s to know if you washed today or brushed your teeth? While comfort is important when you’re stressed, make yourself bathe and dress every day. It does good things for your state of mind, even if all you achieve is sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Use Your Body. Some of your scheduled activities should be physical motion. Whether you go for a walk or run in the deserted streets, change the sheets on all the beds, tackle yard work, take a yoga class online, or scrub the kitchen floor on hands and knees, being physical is good for your body and your mind. See if you can get a minimum of thirty minutes six days a week, mixing it up however you like.

Feed Your Body. Some stress eating and treats are okay, but not every day and not in large portions. While grocery stores struggle to maintain stock, buy and eat what’s available that’s essentially healthy.

Feed Your Inner Self. Do something solely because it brings you pleasure, peace, or comfort, daily if possible. Take a long soak in the tub. Meditate or pray. Pet your pet (hence the name, right?). Go for a drive. Have sex with your partner or solo. Sing or play an instrument.

Not Too Much. If you drink alcohol or use marijuana, don’t let yourself overindulge as a new way of daily living.

Soothe the Savage Breast, or Beast, Whichever You Have. Use music to set moods that match your needs. New Age and Classical allow you to do work that requires thought. The right kind of rock gives you energy for tasks. Other music makes a pleasant background for cooking, during a meal, or to listen to while you enjoy a stroll.

Breathe. There’s something different about fresh air. Open windows if it’s warm enough, airing out one room at a time. Better, get yourself outside regardless of the weather. You can walk or run, or simply sit in a chair in the yard or on a park bench, even if it requires a coat. Stroll a public park or hiking trail if social distance is possible for all. Don’t let temperature or precipitation be what stops you. A walk in the rain can be really calming.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SPACE

Organize a Little at a Time. Your day’s schedule should often incorporate something that organizes your home. Clean the coat closet, the sock drawer, kitchen cabinets, under the bathroom sink. Throw away, set aside to donate, re-arrange for actual use.

Cleanliness is Next to… Something. Walking into a place that’s usually cluttered or dirty is very, very different than when it’s clean, free of dust, nothing out that shouldn’t be. Schedule cleaning right up there with organizing. Messes and clutter that seem too large to tackle can be dealt with in the time you suddenly have.

Fix It and Forget It. You have things you’re holding onto because they need a small repair, mending, the hem reattached, a new screw, a dab of paint, right? Now’s the time. If you don’t have the materials, make a list. Order online, or shop, maintaining social distance and washing well afterward, if the store is open.

Big Deal. A break of weeks at home is also the time to undertake some projects that seem just too much for a weekend. Is this the time to tear out carpet, paint the bedroom, deep clean the car inside and out, build those movable shelves to hold the bins of fabric, camping gear, tools, or keepsakes? Yeah.

CREATE

Return to a Hobby. Or try a new one, accepting the learning curve. YouTube has videos, websites have tutorials, and if you have or can get the materials, you could be doing something that both makes something cool and brings you satisfaction and pride. There’s no limit to the possibilities here.

It’s Only Words. There’s time to write that story or get a start on the novel, try your hand at poetry, write up family history to pass on to relatives, or a zillion other projects that involve writing. Remember that whether anyone ever sees what you write is entirely your choice.

Adventures in the Kitchen. There are websites galore with new recipes for you to try, alone or with others. Find something that sounds good and give it a try.

Think of Others. While you’re at home bouncing off the walls in your eagerness to get out, don’t forget that within a few miles there are health care workers who haven’t had more than twelve hours off in weeks and live away from their families in fear of contagion, people unable to afford food for their kids, worried about Dad alone in another state, suffering increased symptoms from their mental illness, unable to get the drugs they need for serious health problems, sick with something that could be COVID-19 if there were enough tests to know for sure. Take a moment to be thankful all you are is stir-crazy, and to give to help others however you can.