I Simply Remember My Favorite Things

The older I get, the more irritable I seem to be. Not that I was all that chill as a young woman, but these days a single individual's lack of consideration for others can make me near-furious. I have no patience for selfishness, entitlement, hate, or political opinion with no basis in fact.

As an adult I can, and often do, calm myself with things I enjoy. A glass of wine and some decent music can spin my attitude 180 degrees, back to appreciating the many blessings I have, most unearned. It's handy to have been born white in the United States to middle-class parents, for instance, and to have found a man of similar background who is utterly loveable. Mostly, anyway.

So today I'm going to list a few things that please me. Not because any reader is going to think, Golly-gee, what insight that Maryn has! I hope only that any reader will pause to reflect on their own small good things, to notice and enjoy them.

•    There are more books I'm eager to read and TV shows and movies I really want to see than I will finish within my lifetime.
•    Yes, road construction is so irritating. Streets closed without warning. Flag people who don't make clear what they want drivers to do. Detours poorly marked. Crews with one man working and seven standing around littering. But the roads I use most will soon be preternaturally smooth and clearly marked. I can tell when I cross the border into my town and its good roads.
•    On a recent trip, I used every single piece of clothing I packed except for the “one spares”: shirt, undies, and socks.
•    My weight doesn't get any worse if I have pizza or ice cream once in a while. 
•    I know how to do some things that bring me, and occasionally others, pleasure, from writing to sewing to cooking.
•    I like a lot of foods that are really healthy choices. Bring on the big salad, the brussels sprouts, asparagus, green beans, and most of all, the broccoli!
•    When there's something I really want, I don't have to save up for long to get it. Too bad I had to figure out this late in life how to want only things within my actual range of affordability.
•    Neither of our grown kids keeps me up nights with worry. Not that we're immune to trouble or tragedy, of course. But there are so many people who know, when the phone rings late at night, that a particular kid is using drugs, waits for them in the ER, is in jail again and hopes for bail, has been beaten by the husband she won't leave, suffers yet another mental health crisis, etc.
•    I'm as happy with a find at Goodwill as a bargain from Macy's—at a tenth the cost. I really am!
•    My marriage is solid, even though I suspect I am not always a joy to be around. (Shocking, no?)
•    I like my long hair shot with white strands. Hell, no, I'm not coloring it.

So think a moment. What's pleased you lately?
 

What's Happening to Absolute Write?

Absolute Write is in trouble. I see no reason I can’t share what’s going on with Absolute Write’s forums; nobody swore me to secrecy. Settle in. This will be long. Right now:

There is no site administrator.

The software that runs Absolute Write is years out of date, lacking updates and patches. This impacts security.

No new members have been approved since September 2, 2025.

No one replies to anyone who uses Contact Us to address concerns.

No one issues the Erotica password to adults on request.

No one supervises the moderators.

There is no record of members’ donations or how that money has been spent.

MacAllister is not acting to transfer ownership.

Although the site continues to operate, with glitches no one can address, it’s become more social, an echo chamber for the regulars and a favorite spot for word games rather than a writing site.

What the hell happened?

MacAllister, the present owner, took over in 2006, site administrator AW Admin handling its day-to-day operation. The site grew and thrived. The Bewares, Recommendations, and Background Checks board amassed member contributions, becoming one of the largest collections of information about publishers and agents available online—where those under discussion were invited to participate. AW was instrumental in warning writers about Publish America and poetry.com and continues to advise against writer-unfriendly ventures. 

Starting in December 2019, Absolute Write was subject to DDoS attacks intent on bringing the site down. Despite additional software and behind-the-scenes bot blocking, the entire site went dark in January 2021. It reopened in June of that year on a new server with new software, everything handled by AW Admin, who remained an unpaid volunteer putting in full-time-job hours and efforts.

AW Admin retired July 1, 2022. The owner MacAllister was newly responsible for all that needed doing. She did not tap a new administrator.

MacAllister's other responsibilities didn’t allow her the time to teach herself any admin functions. Still, she opted not to delegate any authority. For literal years, the only thing she did was approve new members in batches using automated screening. Other than that, she was just gone, fully no contact. 

While Absolute Write appeared to have minimally sufficient staff, the number of moderators who were actively moderating was small. Most boards had no moderator. Spam was handled quickly, but other issues reported by members went unaddressed for days, the few active moderators overburdened or unwilling to act.

Mods sought relief from Mac, volunteered to cover boards without a moderator, suggested names for new mods, emailed her repeatedly, but MacAllister was not responsive. 

MacAllister’s approval of member registrations fell behind, from days to weeks to a month or more. New members were minimally vetted, allowing many who immediately spammed us or created problems. 

Unimportant and I talked backchannel with increasing outrage until I kind of bullied Mac into giving her sign-in information to Unimportant so she could pretend to be Mac and catch up on long-overdue admin tasks. She did not get full access, because Mac didn't know how to give it, having lost the accounts and passwords AW Admin provided.

Mac hasn't been back since that day, March 17, 2025.

What Unimportant found was pretty bad. Software updates and patches available but not paid for or installed going back three years, including things that might stop various hackers. People who registered using the names of real agents who were not them. Donations that did not appear to have been spent on the site. 

She taught herself administration, then between us, she and I discussed and cleaned up everything we could. We begged Mac to upgrade the software, to appoint new mods, to act, but while she would occasionally promise she'd get to it no later than a certain date, she didn't. So with the mod staff, we chose new mods and got them on board, retired the absent mods, and carried on as well as we could.

Frustrations grew. Without the necessary updates and patches, we had people Oopsing all over the place as Guest accounts overwhelmed the server. We offered to fund raise to pay for it. Mac was unresponsive. We gave her a generous deadline by which to get the updates. And when she didn't, we told other mods what was going on.

That was last August. In early September, 2025 more than half the mods quit, some leaving the site altogether.

Is this the end of Absolute Write?

Right now, it looks like it could continue as it is unless and until something takes it down. There is no one able to block malicious use. 

If that happens, there is no recovery option. It will simply be gone. 

That said, in its present form it's barely a writing site at all, so maybe that wouldn't be so terrible.

Is there any way to save Absolute Write? 

Of course. All it needs is a new owner who pays for the server and software. After that, they either do the necessary tasks or delegate them to qualified individuals. 

I asked around, privately, seeking someone, and mostly got "Gee, I'd like to, but..." replies.

Except for one. We have a volunteer owner, fully at ease with the technical aspects and somewhat leery of the people management part.

Mac agreed to transfer ownership in February 2026. This is great! But the new owner cannot contact the server, the software provider, the website host, etc. telling them to transfer it all to them. Mac needs to do that--and she is not. The new owner pokes at her via email, but she fails to act.

Unless she does, nothing will change.